Thursday, February 28, 2013

Theo James

I love those British actors with two first names.
Am I the only one who thinks this guy is about as hot as they get? 





Add a caption:  Get creative!!!!




Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Scott2 - part 4


Scott...Part 1
Scott...Part 2
Scott...Part 3

Does it really turn you on to make another guy feel really great?  It does me.  And even though Scotty had only stopped by twice before, I was pretty sure I knew how to make him feel that way.  I'm not talking aout your common blowjob...[only met one guy who that didn't make feel great-he had other fetishes]...but rather that combination of touch, kiss, blow, caress that gets him rocking like no one else.  The kind of good feeling that, when he sees your picture, or sees a text from you, gets his cock at least a little harder because he remembers you that well.

I know that I can do that to Scotty.  I wasn't sure before, but when he walked through that door, and I could see through his dress pants that his dick was obviously ready for action, then I knew for sure.

We were supposed to meet on Monday, but he was called into meetings late, and had another meeting later in the day, so it was looking bleak.  He finally texted me to explain.  I said, "If you can make it, we can still have some fun, and have a longer session later this week."

Not knowing if he was going to be able to or not, I still got things ready...shower, equipment, etc.  It started getting pretty late...if he showed up now, we would only have 45 minutes...so I was pretty sure we would have to pick it up later.  Suddenly, a car turned into the driveway, and he walked in the backdoor.

I look at him again, not knowing exactly what he does or where he works, and think he could be a VP somewhere, an accountant, or a Director, but definitely someone who is used to acting with some authority.  Anyone looking at him would just know that this guy is the straightest guy around, typical wife and kids, big home, NFL football Sunday, cookouts with the neighbors, and go to Mama's house every other Sunday for dinner.  But not today ...  Today, right now, he's mine.  I own him.  He needs me.  He needs this, and he needs it now.

We go straight to the bedroom, and engage in a kiss that would make all of you envious.  He has freshened his breath...he expected this kiss.  No, he wanted it.  I don't feel him up, just keep it above the neck.  Finally, we start taking off clothes, and he has way too many on, so I find something to do while he gets undressed.

As I ease on top of him on the bed, I think about this situation.  Scotty tells me he has never been with another guy and, maybe I'm just a gullible sap, but I believe him.  He is so hungry for my touch, my kiss, my caress, it is intoxicating.  Yet, I am always in control.  Move here, lay down here, turn over.  After some great necking and feeling him up, I remember how much he loves to be fed a thick cock, so I lay him on his back with his head hanging off the bed, and feed him my dick.  He laps at it hungrily.  Here, this epitome of a fine upstanding citizen, happily sucking a cock with his cock as hard and throbbing as it can get.

I know he loves to be sucked, so while still feeding him my cock, I bend over him and take him in my mouth in a 69.  His legs start moving like a frog swimming in water, and he starts moaning in that glorious way that lets anyone know he really likes this.  The devious guy that I am has another mission, though...prepare him to be a bottom. 

It's really not that I have to fuck every guy I ever see.  With Scotty, it's because I am sure he will love it.  And to prove my theory, I just touch his hole with my finger, and he as I was sure would happen,  his volume level rises dramatically, his thrashing increases three-fold.  A little lube, a little more rubbing, and I think, at this moment, if his mother walked into the room, he wouldn't even notice.  He is on a completely different level right now, in a heightened state of arousal, of feeling, thoroughly enjoying the sensations he is experiencing.

"Fuck me!", he says.
"Put it in me, I want it!"
"Do you want to fuck me?"

I look at this totally turned on man, virgin ass, begging me to fuck him.

I want it in him.  I want him to be totally turned on by it, and he will be.  But there are issues...
- he has to leave in 10 minutes.
- he has never had anything bigger than a thumb up his ass.
- during our previous two play sessions, the ass play we did bothered him [caused major discomfort later].
- I want to make sure he loves it because I want him to come back for more.

Let's hope there is a Part 5.


Surgeon General Dr. Koop dies

Dr. Koop was instrumental in AIDS education

Koop with Hillary in 1996

Friday, February 22, 2013

Scott2 -- Part 3



If you haven't read the preview to this, you should read them first to get up to speed.
Scott...Part 1
Scott...Part 2

It was not as long this time before we connected.  A Saturday night, and I noticed he was online. 




 We had never had more than a few sentences of messaging at one time, and he was really opening up now.




















When I had asked what he liked, he told me a number of times that he didn't know.  I found it hard to believe, but finally realized that he really didn't know because he had not done much with guys at all.


Eventually it was clear that he really had no other guy experience at all.





Then he sent me a picture of his hard cock, and said, "You made me that way"
Damn if that doesn't make a guy feel good!!


There is more to this story.





Thursday, February 21, 2013

TMI Thursday ... sleeping

Our good friend SEAN over at Just a Jeep Guy does TMI Thursdays.  My answers:

I JUST WANNA GO TO SLEEP:
1. What do you wear to bed?  Nothin....I just take things off.
2. Who or what sleeps with you at night? ... :-( 
3. Do you like a cold room or a hot room?  Cold or cool...makes snuggling more fun.
4. Lots of blankets or just one?  More than one.
5. Do you hog the blankets?  I don't think so, but I'm really not sure.  Anyone want to sleep with me and let me know?
6. What size is your bed and what kind of mattress is it?  It's a Queen size.  LOL.  I'm not sure of the brand, but it is one of medium firmness...not too soft.
7. Do you eat in bed?  Same answer as Cubby.  Patently Queer
8. What kind of sleeper are you?    I used to be a very heavy sleeper, but with kids and getting old, I am a much lighter sleeper these days.  I can hear someone pull in the driveway from 1/4 mile away now.
9. What is under your bed?  Nothing but dust.

BONUS

What won't you do in bed?  When I think of something cute, like Cubby, I'll let you know.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I Never- 15 in Detail

Cubby and I stole the idea from Jim at his blog and started the "I NEVER - 15" list.  First, thanks to everyone for your comments.  I had a few offers to mark things off the list, but there are some I don't want to ever mark off, thank you.  However, there are some I would love to mark off.  Here is the breakdown:
I never ...

  1. ...have been handcuffed [by a police official].  And don't really care to be...ever....maybe by a---oh never mind.  That's a whole nother post.
  2. ...have had a MMF sexual encounter.  Tough one to decide, but with the right guy [Loki would be fun] I could enjoy this.  Maybe that should be a red because it would have to be the right guy.
  3. ...raced in a race car.  Oh yeah....not a whole race, but a few times around the track would be a blast.  I am not even a NASCAR fan, but it still is appealing.  [DC Traffic doesn't count.}
  4. ...took a ride in a hot air balloon.  Love to do this...with some great friends.  Maybe we could even do something fun while we are on the ride. ;-))
  5. ...had sex in a tent.  I'm open to takers on this one.
  6. ...fucked on the beach.  Yep...maybe in a tent, and mark both off.
  7. ...been to Maine.  I think I want this one too...I hear Maine is beautiful even if I don't speak the dialect.
  8. ...have run a marathon.  I would like to do this, but it is not a burning passion right now.
  9. ...killed an animal on purpose (hunting).  Would do it for survival, but not for sport.
  10. ...been kissed in a NY gay bar.  I can't wait for this one...
  11. ...been surfing.  This one should be whatever color red and green make because I think it would be fun but not a passion...so it ends up red.
  12. ...been to Asia.  Believe it or not, this is not a passion of mine either.  Australia, Europe, YES...but no real desire for Asia right now.
  13. ...had a circumcision. No thanks.  Never.
  14. ...have had a tattoo.  Yeah...someday.
  15. ...have met a politician that I liked.  I'm neutral on this too, but at lease one writer knows a likable politician, so I leave this one green.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER?

I posted a note on my unhidden, real Facebook page a few weeks back that said, "Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."   I'm not especially proud to admit it, but that is me all the way.  I  think that posting is the closest I have come to letting people who have known me since childhood understand the real me.  I had few comments on it, but what interested me was that some commented who I didn't expect.  I think it shows that we all have people who care for us but do it silently.

Many years ago, I was in a very serious automobile accident, so severe that I was not expected to live to get to the hospital, then not expected to live the night, then not expected to survive the week.  Well, I am still here.  While it was a very difficult time for me, it was a huge learning experience.  I discovered things about myself that, until then, I hadn't known.  My determination, my refusal to ever give up [stubborn bastard that I am] for example.  However, the most valuable thing that I learned was that there are people who care about me, and they are not the cheerleaders, the 'in your face' guy or gal who wants everyone to know how good they are.  They are the ones who are not struggling to get next to you in the pic, or touting how much they have done to help, or at all obvious.  In fact, most of my friends don't realize they are there either.  I am not a religious person, but when I have needed that extra support, they almost seem like angels who only appear when you truly need them.

A fellow blogger commented to me in a private conversation that he was sure I had my shit together quoting my 20+ years of marriage and raising my kids as proof.  Yeah, raising kids is tough, but I never said I did a good job of it.  I love them more than myself most times, but I have way too many faults to even start counting, and some of them have hurt my kids in ways that I regret.  I am, however, VERY proud that they are generally caring, compassionate people.  It took me a while to get used to the fact that they are their own selves, and not just an extension of me.  Learning that with them also helped me learn that with others, and strive to be less controlling.

I have tried to teach my kids, it isn't important what you know, or what you can do, but that you are trying and moving in the right direction.  

Many of you who read this, and especially those who bear their most personal thoughts in a blog have been tremendously helpful in my personal growth.  Unfortunately, it has sometimes come with personal pain, and sometimes pain to others.  But, I have found that a few tears is sometimes good for a body...it is almost cleansing, to allow us to see things more clearly.  It is clear now that the older I get, the more that I see how unwise I really still am. 

I don't much think I really have my shit together, though.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Well, I Never ...

I picked this up from Cubby at Patently Queer who picked it up from Jim over at Jim’s Stuff .

It comes from a drinking game they played ... imagine that ...drinking.
Anyway, in this version, if you have done one of these things, then you need to leave a comment stating what you have done… and tell us the story if you want. (or drink… lol) OK?
In Cubby's words, "I think this would be fun if other bloggers did a post like this; with their own list of things they’ve never done. I promise I would play along.
Sounds like great fun.

I never ...
  1. ...have been handcuffed [by a police official].
  2. ...have had a MMF sexual encounter.
  3. ...raced in a race car.
  4. ...took a ride in a hot air balloon.
  5. ...had sex in a tent.
  6. ...fucked on the beach.
  7. ...been to Maine.
  8. ...have run a marathon.
  9. ...killed an animal on purpose (hunting).
  10. ...been kissed in a NY gay bar.
  11. ...been surfing.
  12. ...been to Asia.
  13. ...had a circumcision.
  14. ...have had a tattoo.
  15. ...have met a politician that I liked.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Some Firsts That Happened on the 15th

Cubby and his partner were kind enough to show this newby around a few bars in DC.

It was the FIRST time I ...
  1. ... arrived in DC on time on a Friday.
  2. ... visited The Green Lantern.
  3. ... went to a BEAR Happy Hour.
  4. ... visited TOWN DanceBoutique.
  5. ... was accosted by a horny guy at a bar. [Accosted=felt up, kissed]
  6. ... was felt up by TWO guys in a bar at the same time. [I am such a slut.]
  7. ... kissed a guy in an elevator.
  8. ... ate a dinner prepared by Cubby.
  9. ... took three showers within any 2 hour period.
  10. ... ate Breakfast prepared by Cubby (and it was good.)
  11. ... got me a FUK-IT pack from DC.
  12. ... used said pack.
  13. ... got to know a blogger so intimately.
  14. ... saw I-395 with no traffic on it [except when it was closed for a wreck].
  15. ... am not going to tell you any more FIRSTS.

Tears Can Be Very Cleansing

Photo: ☚☚ DAD. . .One Day I Will Make You Proud ☛☛

Thursday, February 14, 2013

SEAN'S TMI Thursday===and this one is really TMI

SUMMARY
Part One--Yes, 21--No, 3
Part Two-- Yes, 20, No, 5
Part Three-- Yes, 11, No, 15   

SEX QUESTIONNAIRE - HAVE YOU EVER:
1. had intercourse? YES
2. oral sex?YES  
3. licked an ass?YES
4. had your ass licked?YES
5. had sex with someone without knowing their name?YES, but I am really bad with names. 6. swallowed cum?YES
7. practiced bondage or BDSM?YES
8. had anal sex?YES
9. had an orgasm from anal sex? YES
10. had sex while on hard drugs?NO
11. had sex with someone of the opposite orientation?YES, I think.  Does this mean having sex with a gay if you are straight?  What is the opposite of BI? 12. been in a threesome?YES
13. been in a foursome?YES
14. been in an orgy? YES
15. been in a gangbang?NO
16. had sex in public? YES, in the very broadest view of the term, public.
17. snowballed?YES
18. had your toes licked or sucked?YES
19. licked or sucked someone’s toes?YES
20. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a day?YES
21. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a week?YES
22. had cyber sex or phone sex?YES
23. been double penetrated?NO
24. watched porn?YES

HAVE YOU EVER:

25. bought a dirty magazine?YES, but only one, unless you count Playboy and Penthouse
26. posted nude pictures of yourself on the net?YES in the broad sense of it.
27. let someone video tape you having sex?NO, but I have taped others.
28. sex without protection?YES
29. had someone give you a cum facial or given someone a cum facial? YES
30. participated in a golden shower?YES
31. sex with a friend’s significant other?YES
32. had sex with one of your significant other’s friends or relatives?YES
33. cheated on your significant other?YES
34. made someone pass out from sex?NO
35. had your ass slapped during sex?YES
36. tasted your own cum?YES
37. masturbated?YES - this must be the question to determine if you are telling the truth. 38. let someone watch you masturbate?YES
39. showed yourself naked on cam?NO
40. had a wet dream?YES
41. been submissive in bed?YES
42. had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?YES  
43. had sex in a vehicle?YES
44. been caught having sex?YES
45. paid for sex?NO
46. used toys during sex?YES
47. used food during sex?NO
48. enjoyed pain from a little to extreme during sex?YES
49. been dominated in bed?YES


HAVE YOU EVER:

50. enjoyed having your nipples licked, sucked, or bitten?YES
51. been fisted?NO
52. been with a cock over 10 inches? NO
53. sucked a cock with a pa? NO
54. been fucked by a cock with a pa? NO
55. dressed in costumes? YES
56. role played?YES
57. been to a sex club?NO
58. had sex with a third or with your partner?YES
59. had sex with a coworker at work?YES
60. had pity sex?YES
61. gotten a std?YES in the broad sense of STD 62. had sex with someone 25 years or more younger than you?YES
63. had sex with someone 25 years or more older than you?NO
64. had sex with a famous person?NO
65. had sex on a plane?NO
66. had sex on a train?NO
67. had sex in a movie theater?NO
68. had sex involving scat?NO
69. used a vegetable?NO
70. had sex in an open bar?NO
71. had interracial sex?YES
72. had sex with a Mormon?NOT Sure...Don't think so...just don't usually ask.
73. had sex with someone who had a prosthetic?NO  
74. had sex with a ex-convict?YES
75. had sex with a blogger?YES

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Bucket List 15

I can't explain why these things seem so attractive to me, but they are.

  1. Molest Adam Levine.  He is anything but my ideal guy...too thin, too many tattoos, and he's not even got a chance of being gay.  But there is something about him, a sinister innocence maybe, a look, that turns me on. 
  2. Spend an undetermined amount of time [at least 15 days] in England/Europe.  I want to go with enough money, stay where the locals would stay, eat where the locals would eat, and enjoy.  The adventurer in me is ready.  But, first, I have to find the right guy to go with me.  [I may need more like 15 weeks.]
  3. Meet Hugh Laurie.  Any guy with a natural British accent who can fool us with an American accent can't be all bad.  Besides, he's kind of a naughty kind of guy. 
  4. Do anything with Alex O'Loughlin...OK...maybe we wouldn't do well on Jeopardy together, but it would still be fun to hang with him.
  5. Join the ski patrol.  Snow, of course.  
  6. Meet Sean from Just A Jeep Guy.  There is no way a guy who has such great taste in guys isn't a really great guy to know.
  7. Bartend at Hilton Head...on the beach.
  8. Believe it or not, I want to meet Sally Field.  I have heard she is as great a lady in person as you would expect her to be.  Just dinner and maybe drinks on the beach.
  9. Work on a movie...almost any movie...just for the experience.
  10. Work on a Broadway Play....just for a week or so.  And it doesn't even have to be on stage.  I'll do anything.  
  11. Find more great friends...and hopefully a special one who isn't otherwise committed.
  12. Experience Provincetown.
  13. Australia...just go and have fun...explore.
  14. Times Square for one New Years.
  15. Watch my daughter graduate.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

IDEAL or interesting JOBS

My ideal jobs [considering the lazy pervert that I am]:
  1. Furniture Tester
  2. Hiring Manager for the Abercrombie models.
  3. The guy who dots the 'I' for the OSU band.
  4. Beer Taster
  5. Proof Reader for the Golden Press
  6. Adam Levine's Hairdresser
  7. Snowplow Driver for the city of San Antonio
  8. Fortune Cookie Writer
  9. Prophet
  10. Weather Forecaster
  11. Wine Taster
  12. Orgasm Judge
  13. Dominater
  14. The Pricing Manager for "The Dollar Store". [the guy who sets the prices]
  15. Professional Whistler
 What is your favorite job?

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Just some more about me


This is just a bunch of questions that I thought it might be fun to answer...stolen from someone who stole from someone else...so you know more about the real me. 
  1. Do you notice a persons eye color?I wish I was more attentive.  I can certainly tell you if a guy is cut or uncut [if I've seen it] and what his feet look like [if I've seen them], but I don't usually notice eye color unless it is a bright, brilliant blue or a deep chocolate [like those Mediterranean guys].  I think both are very sexy.
  2. White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?Milk or dark...depends on the mood.  I really do like chocolate but I can't buy kisses or I will munch til gone.
  3. If you could get a tattoo free, would you do it? what would it be?*This question kind of threw me.  I think I would, but it would be small and in an inconspicuous place like my ass or my groin, never showing while clothed even at the beach.  Not sure what it would be....something symbolic just not sure what yet.
  4. Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it? * It was a small town, but we didn't know it at the time.  Actually, not the 5,000 population small, but under 30,000.  Yes, I loved it.  I was ready to leave but not til my 20's.
  5. Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)* My aunt or my grandmother.  I was a frail kid, never ate enough I guess, thin, innocent [still am], very inquisitive, and really sweet.  My favorite aunt was the best...I loved her like my mom.  She was a nurse, and although a younger sibling, cared for everyone else.  She recently died and I cried for hours although I knew it was imminent.
  6. What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now? *I don't do smoothies often, but I love mango...so maybe a mango something or another.
  7. Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?* It was probably daily for me.  If I had to settle on one, it would have to be the time I had a bike wreck on the way home for lunch one day.  Raining, glasses, coat over my head to stay dry, ran into a parked car, chipped a tooth, tore a chunk out of my ankle.
  8. Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?* It was Junior High School for me.  Oh, so many to choose from!!!  The embarrassment of gym class when we had to shower naked before going back to school, or the dances when I had no clue what I was doing!!
  9. Most embarrassing moment from your high school years? * There were many here too, but it was probably after school one afternoon, the place was mostly deserted, my bud was trying to convince me to let him play with my dick and we went to an upstairs bathroom to 'pee' at the urinal.  A janitor came in unexpectedly.  He saw nothing erotic, but I know that he knew what had been going on.  The embarrassment on my face alone was enough to give it away.
  10. Have you ever fired anyone?* Yes.  I hate doing this.  But, both times, they knew it was imminent.  One guy was really sad...he really just couldn't do the job and I had run out of options for him.  I tried and tried to find something he could do but nothing worked out.
  11. Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground? * Absolutely.  When I was a kid, our tree house [more of a platform, but still...] was higher than that...or it sure seemed like it.  It was a favorite past time.  But we always needed that boost to get up to the first branch...kept the girls out.
  12. Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?* Sure, like everyone else, but, no I sure don't get excited.
  13. If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get? * It would be a domestic animal, nothing exotic.  Probably a dog of some sort...I would have to meet him first.
  14. What's your favorite place to relax? * Home, or the beach....love a balcony overlooking the beach at Hilton Head.  Megan's Bay at St. Thomas is great too.
  15. What's your most favorite part of your personality? * Probably my inquisitive nature, love learning about new things and people.
  16. Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares? * Sorry guys.  Who cares?
  17. Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through? * Usually, but not this year.  I am a Bengals and a Packers fan.  I also have a connection to the Eagles, but alas, none of them made it far enough.
  18. Have you ever watched any major sporting event live?* I think nearly all NFL games are major sporting events, especially if they involve the Packers and I have seen them live 3 times.  But, honestly, I wouldn't think of paying $2000 of my money to see the Superbowl live.
  19. What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life? * Filet Mignon and Lobster.  Or maybe crab cakes.  Or a good fresh salad.  Or homemade pulled pork.  Or fresh baked bread.  Or my homemade NY Cheesecake.  Or a traditional Thanksgiving turkey dinner....OK...you get the picture?
  20. Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with? *Butter....I hate margarine.  I had to buy some when my sister-in-law came for a visit....the remainder is still in the fridge.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Just Friends...REALLY

No one even looks at GRINDR unless they are looking for sex, right?  Not sure about you, but that was my primary reason for it.  But I have evolved just a bit.  I am not ALWAYS looking for sex, but am open to it if it happens.  Like I assume you are, my standards change at least a little from day to day and hour to hour depending on other circumstances like the degree of horniness, the relative need for companionship as fleeting as it can be, my overall mental state, and the time of the month [maybe not the month, but I do think even us men have our high and low periods of sexual need.

B is a nice looking guy, younger than me [almost everyone is], not quite my type, but on a given day ... One thing that was enticing about B was that he was close...2.8 miles according to GRINDR.  I saw him online from time to time for a few days, and then, while I was fueling up at WAWA, I noticed he was much closer...less than half a mile away...I had found the subdivision that he lived in.  We started a conversation, brief, and continued chatting for a few days.

He really didn't seem very interested in me, but always responded.  We had been chatting about running and exercise, and finally, one day, he told me he was going to be at a school track that was located between us...did I want to run with him?

When I got to the track, there was only one guy running, and I saw that it could be him.  He was about half way around the track, so I went through my stretching routine, and then eventually met up with him on the track.  We ran a bit, and talked a bit, ran a little more, and then finished up and walked back to our cars.  I was hoping he would invite me over or for a drink or something, but he just said it was great meeting, and we should do it again, and then left.

By the time of that meeting, I already knew a lot about his personal circumstances (partnered, between jobs, looking for mostly friends, out for a long time) and he knew about me as well.  He was/is the first out, gay guy who knew nearly all about me, at least about my gay tendencies. 

Our friendship has continued to grow in many ways, none of them sexual.  At this point, it is almost ludicrous to even think there could ever be a romantic relationship between us.  We are great friends [I think], but we are not lovers and will never be.  But, I do respect his opinions and his perspective.  When I told him about a weekend trip that I had been invited to, he blasted me and pointed out in his own sarcastic way that I was contemplating spending the night with a group of guys who I really didn't know, had never met, and did I really think that was a good idea?  Of course, he had to add that I should wear a toe tag so I would be easier to ID later.  [I went anyway!]

Why do I write this post?  I think it is important in my evolution.  So many of you have helped me, and advised that coming out is a process, not an event.  In some way, B has been a part of my process.



Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -Erica Jong

My life, my thoughts in someone else's words.

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” 

“Will you ever? I don’t think you will ever fully understand how you've touched my life and made me who I am.I don't think you could ever know just how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star.”
There are a few people in my life who I should say this to:  and I think they already know who they are.
 

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” My 'not so new' motto.

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
I have been doing this for years, but never thought of it this way.

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”
Hmmmm.  Enough said.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”   
I have to remind myself of this a lot.

 She also said, “Men and women, women and men, It will never work.”

Thursday, February 7, 2013

100 Things About Me

 Stolen from RG at Dulce Peligroso who stole it from Sean who stole it from someone else [according to RG].

 
100 Things About Me

1. Are young at heart, or an old soul?
I think I am young at heart, but then, don't we all?  Certainly don't feel my age most days.

2. What makes someone a best friend?
A best friend is one who knows all my faults, but overlooks them and loves me anyway.

3.  What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most?
I was about 12 or so...all I wanted was a bike, but I opened all of these other gifts.  Then, after everyone was done, my dad brought a big red bike in...I still love him for that.

4. Tell me about a movie/song/TV show/play book that has changed your life.
Tough one for me...not really into a lot of those things, but one song that recently impacted me is "Even Now" by William Fitzsimmons.

5. Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike.
I like my eyes...think they are nice...have the worst feet around.

6. Would you like to reconnect with any friend you've lost contact with?
I already have.

7. What's more important in a relationship: Physical attraction or emotional connection?
Emotional connection...no other option.

8. Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title.
No answer.

9. What holiday do you most look forward to?
I count Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years as the holiday season...love them all, but especially when they are coordinated all together with distant family and friends. 

10. How is the relationship between you and your parents?
My parents are both deceased. When they were alive, it was usually good, sometimes spectacular, but very seldom rocky.  I miss them both immensely, but especially my Dad.

11.  You've got the TV on, but you're not really watching. What channel is the TV on?
NBC or Food Network.

12. Name a song that never fails to make you happy.
Not big on songs, but I do really think that Jason Mraz has some great songs out now.  I also really like Jackson Browne singing Stay.

13. You know a least one person name Michael. Tell me about him.
There's Michael and then there's Mike, and of course, Mikey.  Mikey is a bottom who just loves to be fucked and even pissed on.  Michael is a dipshit friend of my son's.  Mike is/used to be my best friend.  We are still close, but not quite as close.

14. Have you ever read "Missed Connection" on Craigslist? Have ever posted one, or wanted to?
Read it a few times, never posted.  I always thought it was a waste of time.

15. If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be?
I don't care where I live as long as I am with people I love.

16. Can money buy happiness?
Not really, but it sure doesn't hurt much.

17.  Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?
I drink somewhat regularly...love to share a bottle of wine, or have a beer with friends...especially microbrew draft.  I used to smoke but quit when my son was born...can't handle it now.  No drugs...at all.  During college we played around with the small stuff, but never much.

18. Is there anyone close to you that you know you can't trust. You don't have to give names?
If I can't trust them, I don't consider them close to me.

19. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?
We had a tree house...if was fun and my sister couldn't climb it, or the park when it was time to play...then to my room to play with myself when the rents were gone.

20. Have you ever spent the night in the hospital?
Months.

21. Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people.
I go through stages...am very comfortable with a few friends, but also with a large group if it is the right circumstances.

22. Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?
No, for the most part.  They are gone now, but...no.

23. Have you every been bullied. Have you every bullied anyone else?
I was bullied all the time.  Avoided going home from school a certain way to keep from running into one particular guy. 

24. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? 
Filet Mignon.

25.  If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship?
At one time I said OK, but now I would never.

26. Do you believe in a god?
No.

27. Of all the social networks in the world, why use Twitter?
I don't.

28. What's your favorite hashtag to track?
See the answer to question 27.

29. Would you call yourself/your family "middle class"?
Growing up, we were lower middle class. I was upper middle until my ex fucked things up.

30. Name a TV series you didn't enjoy until after it ended.
Star Trek....never really got into it until after it was close to ending.

31. Have you every bought a product from an infomercial?
Never, and I never will.

32. If you could give up your car and never drive again, would you?
Yes although at one time, I would have said no way.

33.  If you could go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say?
I would try to convince myself that I could survive as a gay man and make that decision earlier.

34. What's your "quirkiest" habit?
I don't have any...hate those kinds of things.  I used to have a funny walk, but it bothered me so much, I changed it. 

35. What is "normal?" Are you normal?
Normal is what no one is.  Part 2...see part 1.

36. Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the deathof 10 strangers. You don't have to see them die. Do you take the offer?
No. Everyone has a time to go.

37. What is the one thing you could never forgive?
Causing my kids pain.

38. Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single.
I have be in a relationship ...or many.

39. Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends?
Of course.

40. Where do you and your friends go to hang out?
I don't hang out much anymore, but it was usually at my place.

41. Write the first sentence of your obituary.
Friends are celebrating the life of one of the 'nice guys' next week.

42. What is the best TV them song ever?
Gilligans Island.

43. When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up?
Normal.

44. When you're along in your own home, do you walk around naked?
Often.

45. What gets you out of bed in the morning?
Gotta piss.

46. Do you want to have more friends than you have right now.
Absolutely...love to have friends...can never have too many.

47. What part of the past year sticks out in your mind?
There were lots of great times the past year...worst was when my job was eliminated, but many good times with new friends.

48. You win a scratch-off lottery game that give you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep working?
I'm not working now, so NO.

49. Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you're in one, what makes yours work?
Not my preference.  I need skin to touch skin.

50. What's the best route to your heart?
Treat me with respect, love me, and show me respect.

51. Have you ever met someone through the internet, and then met them in real life?
Of course.

52. What is your favorite sport?
NFL Football probably. Followed closely by college football. But I love snow skiing personally.

 53. What has been troubling you lately?
Job, family, coming out, lack of money.

54.  Did you enjoy your high school prom? If you haven't gotten there yet, do you look forward to it? it you didn't go, why not?
I didn't go...regret it to this day.

56. Do you know what makes you happy?
Being loved and wanted, and making a lover happy.

57. Tell me about the last book you read.
Espionage mystery.

58. What is the nicest compliment you've ever been given?
"you are a very special man and not only do I want you in my life, I need you in it."

59. Who was your first crush?
No clue..

60. Do you believe that there is life on other plants?
You have to define life first.

61. Predict what your life will look like a year from now.
I can't predict...afraid to.  I hope that I will be settled into a great life with a lover on a deserted cove.

62. Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began. 
The last long term relationship was my ex-wife.  It began over 25 years ago when a mutual friend suggested we should date.  Her father had just died and she was a bit distraught and needed friends.

63. Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?
Many great places in Richmond, but one that I especially like is Pegasus -- locally owned Greek restaurant.

64. What is something you want to change about your current situation?
I want a great friend who turns into something more than a friend.

65. Early bird or night owl?
Early bird.  But I still like to stay up with the night owls on occasion.

66. Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to?
No.

67. Give me an unpopular opinion you have.
Less government is always better.

68. What was the last song that was stuck in your head?
??Don't know.

69. Where do you live?
Richmond, VA.

70. Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation?
I believe that they should earn them, yes.

71. What is the longest car ride you've ever taken?
 Southern Ohio to Albuquerque New Mexico.

72. Have you ever taken part in a protest?
No.

73. Would you ever use an online dating service?
Doubtful.

74. What is your ethnic heritage?
German

75. Describe a person who inspires you.
Confident, but not cocky.  Decent body, but not Mr. Atlas.  Considerate of others.  Cares for his family. 

76. If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you?
If I have enough to get by financially, of course.

77. Do you believe in luck.
Nope.

78. Describe that last time you were very angry at someone.
I am sure it was my ex.  She is so stupid and thinks she is not that it is frustrating. 

79. Do you want to live until your 100?
I'm not worried about it either way.

80. Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change?
It is possible, and even likely, that the relationship should not stay together.  If it does, then it will be a different relationship that has to be accepted by both.  

81. Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them?
Not really.

82. Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don't like with your best friends?
I would rather be with my best friends and bitch them up for making me do that shit.

83. Do you practice what you preach?
Yes

84. If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly?
  Yes, generally.  But it depends on the details.

85. What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence?
A little of both...or more than a little.  I can't stand an airhead.

86. Are you hard-headed?
No.  And don't say differently, dammit.

87. Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate?
Not really.

88.  When have you felt most alive?
Doing volunteer work.

89. Where do you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains?
I like it all, and like to mix it up.  If I had the opportunity, I would have multiple homes in the city, and the mountains.

90. Do you often skip breakfast?
Not anymore.  I have to eat something.

91. How do you know what true love is?
I don't think I truly do.

92. Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die?
No.

93. Where is "home" for you?
My adopted home in the Huntington, WV area.

94. What song best describes your life right now?
  "I Won't Give Up" -- Jason Mraz

95. Do you want to be perfect?
No, just close enough.

96. What have you never tried, but would really like to someday?
Pilot a plane.

97. How do you express your creativity?
I have no really good outlets for creativity.

98. Describe your neighborhood?
Working class, older homes and older families.  Most kids have grown and moved on leaving mom and dad here.

99. Name something you only liked because it was popular.
Smoking pot.

100. Give me the story of your life in six words.
He loved and lost too often.

Sean's TMI Thursday





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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY:
1. What do you think of Valentine's Day?  Not a fan...it's a manufactured holiday created by business men. I think that is great, and I love that someone had the foresight and business acumen to make it happen...long live the independent businessman and good old American know how...but I don't care to participate.  And besides, February 14 is a day early.
2. Are you romantic? Absolutely...but the best romantic doesn't need a special day to make it all happen.  Best to surprise your lover, or wannabe lover, when the mood strikes you...no need to wait for February.


 3. Candy or Flowers? After reading number 2, I'm not sure how to answer, but I guess when I want to impress, let my lover know how much I care, it would be neither.  But, I am big on small tokens that trigger a memory of a special time. 
4. What is Valentine's Day like when you're single?  Being 'single' always sucks and Valentines Day doesn't make it any better.  Everyone needs someone to love and be loved by.

5. What do you plan on doing this Valentine's Day? I'll tell you that morning--haven't figured it out yet.
6. Your relationship is ending, do you break up before or after?  The whole relationship thing is another problem....I don't like ending any of them, but I do recognize that they are constantly changing.  I want to be friends with everyone I ever met [except for that crazy axe murderer-LOL].
7. What was your WORST Valentine's Day?  N/A
8. What was your BEST Valentine's Day?  N/A

BONUS
Do you expect to have sex because it's Valentine's Day?  No.  I expect to have sex because it is one of those days ending in DAY.  




A Moral Dilemma

I consider myself a person with morals.  To many, that will seem strange...after all, I fuck guys who want fucked, and is it turns out, some are married; I spank guys who really like it, and I'm pretty sure most of them have a significant other who has no idea; and I am not honest with my family and most friends about my sexuality.  For the record, I also look at a lot of porn, and I use the internet to help me win at Words with Friends.  To many, for me to claim to be a moral person is so very wrong.

Sorry, folks, but most of that is out of my control.  I can't change my sexuality, didn't have a say in what it was going to be.  I don't feel at all guilty [any more] about any sexual encounters with a guy...at least not because he's a guy.

I have to deal with the rest.  Having been the victim myself...loving someone who didn't treat a promise with the same commitment as me...I am very sensitive to fucking around with guys in a relationship.  I think I justify it because their wives are evil people, at least that's what they usually say.  But, the reality for me is that is only works for a while...then I get all righteous on them, and don't want to play because of it.  SEE!!!  I do have a conscience.  It just takes a break at the right [wrong?] time.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you ....

...but it IS on the list."

Rob had an unusual request:  "I need to be spanked."
I personally know a lot of people that need to be spanked, but not for sexual gratification.
My virgin experience had never run across this before.  I know, all you guys know about all of this shit, but I am a novice...even at my age.  Doesn't mean I'm INNOCENT, just STUPID. 

The ensuing emails proved he was very serious.
"Can I fuck you?", I asked.
"Yes, if you want.  But only if you spank me first.
With a belt,"  he said.

OK...I'm game.  Let's try this out.  Never been there, never had an urge to do that for sexual reasons, never really thought it would help get me hard, but, OK...let's try it. 

So, those 'first meeting jitters' start.  But, he showed up as expected....decent looking...coulda been my next door neighbor...almost looks TOO normal...everyday...clean cut. 

"Hey, Rob....come on in.  Now tell me why you didn't get that lawn cleaned up!!"
After the typical lame excuses that a teenager might give, I quickly moved to the punishment.  I can be a hard ass when I want/try.
First just a hand spanking through his pants, but that proved to be hard on the hand.  I had him pull down his pants, leave the boxers, and lay down over my knee.  He protested but obliged.  Still, hand spanking was not getting it done.
"Take off your belt!"
"My belt?", he protested.  "But, what are you gonna do?  Don't hurt me.  I didn't mean it.  I promise I won't do it again.  Please, please, don't, "  he pleaded.
It sounded so sincere, I almost thought I had the wrong guy or something.  Did he really want me to do this or is this some sick joke?  The growing wet spot in his pants resolved my doubts!!!!

And, surprising to me, the growing wet spot in MY pants was as telling.


More to come.


Monday, February 4, 2013

Number 15

You know how you feel when you have found new friends. 




 It leaves you with a feeling of euphoria for a while, to know that there are others who have walked in your shoes, and know how to make you feel good.  
















I'll tell you more about it later.