There is no theme to this post, just some unrelated thoughts.
It is almost 2013. In all my thoughts and recollections of growing up, I never ever thought that I would be saying that. Even 2001 was far too far away to even consider as a possibility, and here we are a good decade past that one. It's time for introspection.
I am nothing close to an expert on many things at all....in fact, the 'jack of all trades, master of none' describes me all too well. Still, as I listen to the Sunday morning news shows, I realize that my personal beliefs do not coincide with either of the popular political parties. Right or wrong, my personal beliefs are what they are, and they are clearly not aligned with our current president, our former president, nor most, if not all, of the Congress.
I say this as I am listening to our 'leader' avoid any real issues, take any real positions, and predictably do the politically correct thing. He consisting refuses to lead, instead taking the popular position. One of the most significant rules of logic (or illogic) is that the majority opinion is not necessarily a correct one...an illogical argument. Our elected officials (I refuse to call them leaders) apparently never had a course in Logic.
I have rarely had the opportunity or the need for public assistance. Because of this fact, I typically declined to take a firm stance on the need for those programs. However, I am there now. And without a congressional deal to avoid the 'fiscal cliff', I will lose some 'entitlements' [I hate that fucking term...it implies something that is owed]. I can now say, "Keep your fucking entitlements, stop the social programs, just leave private industry alone to create jobs so I can get back to work."
We all have a tendency to seek, and support a single, simple solution to any problems. Whether it is human rights, fiscal policy, public violence [aka, the sad events in CT], or a myriad of other problems, everyone is seeking that golden solution. Get real, people. There is no golden egg, no magic elixir, no easy solution. It takes work, hard work, and dedication to being a real human...a caring individual who gets together with other caring individuals to become caring groups to make things happen. I don't understand why we need assault weapons, but, alas, it is true that anyone who really wants to kill a bunch of people will find a way to do it. Still, we have to treat the causes, not the symptoms.
ENOUGH RANTING
On the fun front, it has been a dry few weeks, but one that was needed to put my life in perspective. As I look back on the last year [or so], I have to thank a lot of guys who have become great friends. Some I have met personally, and some I haven't. But each of them has had an impact on my thoughts, my actions and my life. A couple of them do read this blog, but most don't, or don't realize that I am talking about them. I have kept this blog from my personal friends because there are things here that I cannot tell even them. In fact, many of them have been discussed here. Beyond all else, I am still a very private person with this blog serving to be a way to lay out my thoughts. A special thanks to Sean from Just a Jeep Guy http://justajeepguydc.blogspot.com for his thoughts as well.
I know now that I am looking for real friends first, despite what everyone says, there are good guys on the social apps....it's just really hard to find out which ones they are.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
TMI Thursdays
'TIS THE SEASON - WINTER VACATION
1. What is your favorite winter clothing item or outfit?
2. Do you have plans for a winter vacation? When and where?
Ψ Not this year...just wish.
3. Do you have a climate preference
Ψ I do really like the different seasons, so I am fine with some snow. Don't really care for the bitter few weeks of sub zero weather, but you take the bad with the good.
4. What do you like to do on your winter vacations?
Ψ Ski and then drink and cuddle, and fuck around the fireplace.
5. Do you unpack your suitcase or live out of it? Are there any items you never unpack?
Ψ It totally depends on the length of the vacation. For just a day or two, probably just live out of the suitcase, but for longer, I unpack.
6. Essentials for an extra "fun" weekend? Would you take them through airport security?
Ψ Damn...never thought of that. Hmmmmm. It would be a challenge to get some of that stuff in, but if all else fails, then we just do it the old fashioned way...skin on skin.
BONUS
Last, Best, Worst or most fun vacation sex. Details. Details, Details.
Ψ This would be the time to have the great story, eh? Truth is, the wildest times was with a group of ski clubbers in Park City, UT. I have more fun stories to tell about winter, naked hot tub parties closer to home. Somehow, that party was winding down in a snow storm with only four guys there, and they all claimed to be straight. After two of them passed out, I ended up in bed naked with the other one, and he kept claiming that he wasn't gay...he was just cold. Yeah, OK, guy. Whatever you say!!!
Optional question--who would you like to vacation with...an extended period of time...anyplace you want...anyone...living, dead or even fictional...and what would you do?
Ψ It's my question, so I can answer it anyway I want, right? So, I'm going to pick my family with some stipulations: I want my dad for a day...we would go to a secluded beach and spend all day talking, eating, and just being together. I would ask him all the things that I have wanted to ask for the last 20 years since he died.
I want each of my kids for a day each, alone...just one at a time. We would go to different places...one to hike, camp, and cook in the mountains; one to NYC and spend the day exploring as many great things there that we can in a day; one to Europe--Paris, Berlin, or London to explore; and one at the beach. And as I think about this, I want the grandfather that they didn't know to be with us.
1. What is your favorite winter clothing item or outfit?
Ψ Definitely got to be ski apparel.
2. Do you have plans for a winter vacation? When and where?
Ψ Not this year...just wish.
3. Do you have a climate preference
Ψ I do really like the different seasons, so I am fine with some snow. Don't really care for the bitter few weeks of sub zero weather, but you take the bad with the good.
4. What do you like to do on your winter vacations?
Ψ Ski and then drink and cuddle, and fuck around the fireplace.
5. Do you unpack your suitcase or live out of it? Are there any items you never unpack?
Ψ It totally depends on the length of the vacation. For just a day or two, probably just live out of the suitcase, but for longer, I unpack.
6. Essentials for an extra "fun" weekend? Would you take them through airport security?
Ψ Damn...never thought of that. Hmmmmm. It would be a challenge to get some of that stuff in, but if all else fails, then we just do it the old fashioned way...skin on skin.
BONUS
Last, Best, Worst or most fun vacation sex. Details. Details, Details.
Ψ This would be the time to have the great story, eh? Truth is, the wildest times was with a group of ski clubbers in Park City, UT. I have more fun stories to tell about winter, naked hot tub parties closer to home. Somehow, that party was winding down in a snow storm with only four guys there, and they all claimed to be straight. After two of them passed out, I ended up in bed naked with the other one, and he kept claiming that he wasn't gay...he was just cold. Yeah, OK, guy. Whatever you say!!!
Optional question--who would you like to vacation with...an extended period of time...anyplace you want...anyone...living, dead or even fictional...and what would you do?
Ψ It's my question, so I can answer it anyway I want, right? So, I'm going to pick my family with some stipulations: I want my dad for a day...we would go to a secluded beach and spend all day talking, eating, and just being together. I would ask him all the things that I have wanted to ask for the last 20 years since he died.
I want each of my kids for a day each, alone...just one at a time. We would go to different places...one to hike, camp, and cook in the mountains; one to NYC and spend the day exploring as many great things there that we can in a day; one to Europe--Paris, Berlin, or London to explore; and one at the beach. And as I think about this, I want the grandfather that they didn't know to be with us.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
TMI Question Not Asked
The question that should have been asked!!!
What do you miss the most about Christmas's of the past?
-Being with my mother, father, grandmother, brothers and sister on Christmas day. Getting up and finding Santa had been at my house. Sharing our precious gifts...those we picked out so carefully for the ones we loved, and watching their faces when they opened them. Feeling all warm and moist-eyed knowing that there was nothing but love in the house.
What do you miss the most about Christmas's of the past?
-Being with my mother, father, grandmother, brothers and sister on Christmas day. Getting up and finding Santa had been at my house. Sharing our precious gifts...those we picked out so carefully for the ones we loved, and watching their faces when they opened them. Feeling all warm and moist-eyed knowing that there was nothing but love in the house.
TMI Thursdays
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS
1. Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any? Originally a devout, strict protestant but not anymore.
2. What is your opinion of seasonal greetings and salutations? It's just being courteous. Just like 'Good Morning', it is expected and nice to say, but meaningless.
3. Holiday music on the radio? Sure...I can turn that off.
4. What is your policy for exchanging gifts? Damn...a personal 'policy' for gifts? No...I think that a gift should be given when it is truly meant. And don't ever give me a gift card. It's like charity, and I am not a fan.
5. Gift cards/family update letters are... See above for gift cards...family update letters are fine. Doesn't torque me one way or the other. I have one friend who makes the holiday letter entertaining, and I look forward to it. It's more of a 'you won't believe how I fucked up last year' kind of thing. As for the ones that list all of the great things that the kids have done, or how they are gonna be the next prez...I won't do it, and I can just throw it away after a few minutes. Let them brag...doesn't hurt.
6. Christmas cards are... a thing of the past. When it became essential to give, then it became worthless. I send them to people that I love and want to love me...only. And it's a personal card, not one written by Hallmark and gilded by the local printer.
7. Snow is... for skiing. Love it. But, I love nature, so it is to be expected. Even storms...reminds us of how miniscule we really are.
8. Have you been a good little boy or girl? Yes. I am always good.
9. RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
1. Food - anything, unfortunately.
2. Dessert - cheesecake, but only NY style, and homemade.
3. Song - something romantic...lots of them. But for Christmas songs, I do love the Hallelujah chorus singing Handel's Messiah.
4. Movie - The Santa Clause
5. Tradition - Helping others at Christmas...volunteer.
BONUS
Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe? Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Clause? Have you done it a santa suit? Did you come down the chimney? Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers? I'm not gonna get the bonus...nothing in my past regarding Christmas sex, but I have done my damnedest to make my special person to have a first climax of the new year as soon as possible after the new year...as the ball drops if I can arrange it.
1. Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any? Originally a devout, strict protestant but not anymore.
2. What is your opinion of seasonal greetings and salutations? It's just being courteous. Just like 'Good Morning', it is expected and nice to say, but meaningless.
3. Holiday music on the radio? Sure...I can turn that off.
4. What is your policy for exchanging gifts? Damn...a personal 'policy' for gifts? No...I think that a gift should be given when it is truly meant. And don't ever give me a gift card. It's like charity, and I am not a fan.
5. Gift cards/family update letters are... See above for gift cards...family update letters are fine. Doesn't torque me one way or the other. I have one friend who makes the holiday letter entertaining, and I look forward to it. It's more of a 'you won't believe how I fucked up last year' kind of thing. As for the ones that list all of the great things that the kids have done, or how they are gonna be the next prez...I won't do it, and I can just throw it away after a few minutes. Let them brag...doesn't hurt.
6. Christmas cards are... a thing of the past. When it became essential to give, then it became worthless. I send them to people that I love and want to love me...only. And it's a personal card, not one written by Hallmark and gilded by the local printer.
7. Snow is... for skiing. Love it. But, I love nature, so it is to be expected. Even storms...reminds us of how miniscule we really are.
8. Have you been a good little boy or girl? Yes. I am always good.
9. RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
1. Food - anything, unfortunately.
2. Dessert - cheesecake, but only NY style, and homemade.
3. Song - something romantic...lots of them. But for Christmas songs, I do love the Hallelujah chorus singing Handel's Messiah.
4. Movie - The Santa Clause
5. Tradition - Helping others at Christmas...volunteer.
BONUS
Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe? Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Clause? Have you done it a santa suit? Did you come down the chimney? Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers? I'm not gonna get the bonus...nothing in my past regarding Christmas sex, but I have done my damnedest to make my special person to have a first climax of the new year as soon as possible after the new year...as the ball drops if I can arrange it.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Confessions?
Reflections
The last several months have been revealing for me personally. I have grown tremendously, and I don't mean literally [in fact, I lost weight that I was very happy to get rid of]. I have, however, looked at myself differently than ever before, and with what I think is a clearer view of myself, who and what I am. I had been living in a 'make-believe' world that was full of unrealistic expectations of myself and many of those around me. I was very egocentric, unable to realistically understand my place in the world around me, expecting others to think more of me than they do or should. I also had what I now think is an unrealistic expectation that others are inherently good, that people mean to be good even if they don't end up there.
All of these things made me trust others, often without any realistic justification. I have certainly learned that I have been very wrong at times. On the other hand, I also know there are some very good people in this world. I am more careful not to jump to either conclusion too rapidly.
I also know that government [the law] is not always logical, nor is it always right. A certain degree of unscrupulousness is needed to keep from getting steamrolled in this world. I am not at all happy about reaching this conclusion, but it has been proven numerous times over the last 2 years.
However, I do know better what I want although not entirely sure how to get there.
WHAT DO I WANT?
My interactions over the last few years have proven to me that I want-- I need --someone to love, to care for, to fawn over. I also need that same someone to treat me the same way. True love is achieved only when both feel they are getting more than they are giving.
I have a very close female friend who I tell almost everything to. She doesn't know about this blog, or the escapades that I have enjoyed with men. She cares very much for me, and I for her. We have sex when we are together, but I don't do it for the sex, I do it for her, because she enjoys it.
I have several male friends, but none that cross over between the straight group and the gay group. There is one gay man who has become very close...strictly platonic. He would be the closest thing to a 'best bud' that I have. He knows what I like, who I like, all about my gay escapades and my straight ones. He has met two of my kids although neither is aware of how much he and I talk. He also tells me about his desires, his 'partner' issues, and at least some of his shortcomings. When he recently left town for a couple of months of work out of the area, I truly felt alone. And, his partner knows all about me...no secrets...but then we are platonic friends, so there is really nothing to reveal.
I spent months exploring every guy who would let me, only to finally realize that it was not satisfying me longer than the hour or so we were together.
In the last few months I have met a few guys who I looked at as LTR material. I really fell for one, only to realize too late that he didn't feel the same way. It's not the first time I made that mistake, and probably won't be the last, but it does seem to get a little easier to deal with each time.
But, I continue to search, just not with the fever and fervor that I had before... as one of my former best friends caution me...slow down, you run like a gazelle.
Until next time on the couch ...
The last several months have been revealing for me personally. I have grown tremendously, and I don't mean literally [in fact, I lost weight that I was very happy to get rid of]. I have, however, looked at myself differently than ever before, and with what I think is a clearer view of myself, who and what I am. I had been living in a 'make-believe' world that was full of unrealistic expectations of myself and many of those around me. I was very egocentric, unable to realistically understand my place in the world around me, expecting others to think more of me than they do or should. I also had what I now think is an unrealistic expectation that others are inherently good, that people mean to be good even if they don't end up there.
All of these things made me trust others, often without any realistic justification. I have certainly learned that I have been very wrong at times. On the other hand, I also know there are some very good people in this world. I am more careful not to jump to either conclusion too rapidly.
I also know that government [the law] is not always logical, nor is it always right. A certain degree of unscrupulousness is needed to keep from getting steamrolled in this world. I am not at all happy about reaching this conclusion, but it has been proven numerous times over the last 2 years.
However, I do know better what I want although not entirely sure how to get there.
WHAT DO I WANT?
My interactions over the last few years have proven to me that I want-- I need --someone to love, to care for, to fawn over. I also need that same someone to treat me the same way. True love is achieved only when both feel they are getting more than they are giving.
I have a very close female friend who I tell almost everything to. She doesn't know about this blog, or the escapades that I have enjoyed with men. She cares very much for me, and I for her. We have sex when we are together, but I don't do it for the sex, I do it for her, because she enjoys it.
I have several male friends, but none that cross over between the straight group and the gay group. There is one gay man who has become very close...strictly platonic. He would be the closest thing to a 'best bud' that I have. He knows what I like, who I like, all about my gay escapades and my straight ones. He has met two of my kids although neither is aware of how much he and I talk. He also tells me about his desires, his 'partner' issues, and at least some of his shortcomings. When he recently left town for a couple of months of work out of the area, I truly felt alone. And, his partner knows all about me...no secrets...but then we are platonic friends, so there is really nothing to reveal.
I spent months exploring every guy who would let me, only to finally realize that it was not satisfying me longer than the hour or so we were together.
In the last few months I have met a few guys who I looked at as LTR material. I really fell for one, only to realize too late that he didn't feel the same way. It's not the first time I made that mistake, and probably won't be the last, but it does seem to get a little easier to deal with each time.
But, I continue to search, just not with the fever and fervor that I had before... as one of my former best friends caution me...slow down, you run like a gazelle.
Until next time on the couch ...
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Sean's TMI Thursdays
Sean from http://justajeepguydc.blogspot.com suggests TMI Thursdays with questions for various readers to answer and post. This week ....
SOCIAL MEDIA
Social Media is everywhere and linked to everything - blogs, FaceBook, Twitter, iTunes, Apps for: hooking up, shopping, banking, photo albums, music, and so much more. How plugged are you and how do you feel about it???
1. Mac or PC?
PC, but only because of cost.
2. How plugged in are you and why?
Gay blogs and apps for obvious reasons. Facebook big time, LinkedIn for the job market, some twitter, but not much.
3. What would do if you were completely unplugged for a month?
I would probably go nuts unless I could find a way to get plugged in physically.
4. Low Self esteem issues aside, if a pic of you turned up on a site like TapThatGuy, Hot or Not or People of Walmart, how would you react?
If it showed up on TapThatGuy, I would be proud and let everyone know about it. If it was a 'people of Wal*Mart, then I know it would be a fake cause I never go in those cesspools.
5. FaceBook is....
-Fun
-nice to keep in touch
-something that I enjoy seeing but if I miss a few days or a week-I am fine with that
-taken way too seriously by a few
-a good way to find old friends
-a good way to find hot guys sometimes...all g-rated [mostly g-rated]
6. List at least 5 of the social Apps you are on:
Facebook
LinkedIn
Grindr
Growlr
Scruff
Twitter
Jack'd
Silverdaddies
BONUS
What question did you think of that could have been asked?
Is there a social app that should be developed, but isn't yet?
SOCIAL MEDIA
Social Media is everywhere and linked to everything - blogs, FaceBook, Twitter, iTunes, Apps for: hooking up, shopping, banking, photo albums, music, and so much more. How plugged are you and how do you feel about it???
1. Mac or PC?
PC, but only because of cost.
2. How plugged in are you and why?
Gay blogs and apps for obvious reasons. Facebook big time, LinkedIn for the job market, some twitter, but not much.
3. What would do if you were completely unplugged for a month?
I would probably go nuts unless I could find a way to get plugged in physically.
4. Low Self esteem issues aside, if a pic of you turned up on a site like TapThatGuy, Hot or Not or People of Walmart, how would you react?
If it showed up on TapThatGuy, I would be proud and let everyone know about it. If it was a 'people of Wal*Mart, then I know it would be a fake cause I never go in those cesspools.
5. FaceBook is....
-Fun
-nice to keep in touch
-something that I enjoy seeing but if I miss a few days or a week-I am fine with that
-taken way too seriously by a few
-a good way to find old friends
-a good way to find hot guys sometimes...all g-rated [mostly g-rated]
6. List at least 5 of the social Apps you are on:
Grindr
Growlr
Scruff
Jack'd
Silverdaddies
BONUS
What question did you think of that could have been asked?
Is there a social app that should be developed, but isn't yet?
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