Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

Love? Or something else...

Shamelessly stolen from anonymous somewhere in cyberspace.

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
-It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off??
-It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want them because you know they're there??
-It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants??
-It isn't love, it's LOYALTY.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
-It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them??
-It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??
-It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
-It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of??
-It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
-It isn't love, it's CHARITY.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong??
-Then it's LOVE.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??
-Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??
-Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret??
-Then it's LOVE.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
-Then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?  This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?

The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who
are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

My love-
As I lie in bed, I say good night to you on line and I am once again alone, but I shall never forget how you make me feel.  We are but newborns to each other...still discovering each other, and how we fit together.  Today, I learned more about you, and I love it all.  A part of me is waiting to awaken and discover this beautiful dream that I am experiencing....I so hope this is not just a dream. 

I feel like we were two souls, each searching for something more than what we had, who happened by chance to meet.  Destiny?  I'm not sure either of us believes in chance or destiny, but I might be convinced ....




Life is once again worth living. 

I am afraid to say the words, or to even think them, but in my heart I know, I am falling in love-hopelessly, undeniably, and maybe even painfully, but I am, I can't stop it, and I know it. 

If you haven't seen this, You need to click.

This is just another heart warming story from a real man who loves his son.  Seriously, if you haven't read it, do that.  It proves that there are some really great people in this world.

OK-I know you are gay....bring home OJ and bread please.

And so it goes ...

Busy week...between a number of personal commitments and getting ready for and making the trek to Delaware.  A significant bit of events that has been brought to light this week regarding gay/same sex marriage that are very bright spots from what I can see.

First, public opinion:


A Washington Post poll shows that public support for gay marriage has risen significantly in the last few years.  That means that political opinion will follow because of course, they want to be re-elected.  More information available here.

And the political opinion followed:
Although in 2000 she didn't agree, Hillary got on or stayed on the bandwagon by announcing her support in a video.  Video

And Republican Senator Portman came out supporting gay marriage also.  Full story here.

Finally, the Supreme Court will hear the cases involving same sex marriage next week.  And, I know at least some of our blogger friends will be in attendance at the demonstration in Washington, DC.

It's all good, I think.

I have a different past than many of you, and, although I have never opposed gay marriage, I was not an avid supporter.   One of the best arguments was made by blogger 'NO HETERO' on his blog Nohetero blog.  Check him out.

A quote

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking too much space.
-Stephen Hunt, Author

Heaven on March 15

From 15: Bryan Adams featuring Jason Aldean. 

Once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down.

Yeah - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way.

And baby, you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven.

And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven.

I've been waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along.

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Yeah - I'll be standin' there by you.


15: Bryan Adams featuring Jason Aldean.

SEAN'S TMI Thursday

Blogger buddy Sean from JustAJeepGuy and his TMI Thursday questions for the week.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
1. Do you have any Irish in you? Not currently.  :-) Would you like some?  That's a question for another day.
2. Do you wear green?  I will go along with the green thing, yes.
3. Green beer is...  just too much.  Good beer is good beer, no matter what color it is.  Green or not doesn't impress me.
4. Irish coffee is...  Love it.  For breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack....mmmmm.
5. Have you worn a kilt?  No, but I would love to.  And in the Irish tradition.
6. Have you gone to the NY St. Patrick's Day Parade?  Sadly, no.  But if I were invited by an Irishman ...
7. St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland with a stick. How would you handle snakes?  Oh, my.  The symbolism is way too easy to assume here.  I think I don't mind some snakes.

BONUS
I'm 100% Irish. Would you kiss me?  Of course.  I would love to.

AN INSPIRATION to Aspiring Musicians

If you haven't heard of Michael Pollack yet, you will.
If you are a music fan, you must listen to this.
Michael is a Vanderbilt University student who went to see Billy Joel.  During a Q&A, Michael asked Billy Joel if he could accompany him on the piano, and Billy Joel said OK.
It's worth the time to see this.  And you must watch the last few minutes as well.

Michael appeared on the TODAY show this morning as well.
More info HERE.

Lessons in Communication

It seemed harmless enough-a handshake-but my grasp lingered just a bit too long to be completely harmless.  And yet, you didn't seem to mind.  I think--maybe-- I could have held it longer and you would not have objected...but, no, maybe I am just reading too much into it.  Still, I look into your eyes while talking about the weather or something, looking deep into your mind through those clear blue/grey portals, and you look back.  Intently.  We are not staring at each other.   Are we?  Would anyone else notice?  But we are saying words, communicating as if a 'normal' conversation is taking place.

However, there is much more communication going on here.  We both will realize if we have not yet, that we have elevated to a different level of communication...one that only we can fully experience with each other.  Then I recall a later time, my hand placed lightly on your shoulder as I lean in from behind you in a crowd, and share a secret thought-not anything intimate-just a mundane observation, and even though I can't see your face, in my mind I can see that smile, that grin, and know that in your mind you can see mine as well.  Still, my touch will linger only a bit too long, not that anyone looking in will notice, but we will.  We both feel the moment, the familiar sense of our touch, and it feels good.

You playfully bump me as we are walking down the sidewalk, oblivious to the thousands around us.  A laugh, a bit of chiding, and an empty threat of revenge ensues.  And it feels so right.  It is only you and I in the world right now.  There can be nothing more important than your smile, and your touch.

Two guys are at lunch in a busy restaurant, being seated at a booth, sitting across from each other, making small talk about the restaurant, the decorations, and of course, the weather.  As I get settled in the seat, I move my foot next to yours, feel your leg firmly pressing back against mine, and know that we are both trying to get closer, be connected in every way.  My eyes meet yours and a slight smile appears on both our faces, communicating our desire, our need to connect, and fully understanding things that words can never adequately describe.  I want to hold you, kiss you, and be part of you.

As I slide inside you ever so gently, I look and stare at your face looking for any sign.  I want to never hurt you, and thankfully all I see is contentment.  We are one.  Connected.

classifications

I am changing...going through a metamorphosis.  Maybe we all do.  There was a time when I only wanted to 'get off'.  I am not too far from that now, but I have found myself wanting to know more about him...whoever the current 'him' is...needing to know how he got here in this bedroom or hotel room with another guy.  Has he done this numerous times before, is this something new, is he as 'seasoned' as he acts, or his first time, or somewhere in between?

What I really want to know about a guy is this:  Are you open to sometime, if the stars align and I hold my tongue right, being in a dedicated relationship with another guy?  How do you ask that without scaring the shit out of him? 
I want to know because, if they fall into many classifications, I really don't want to waste much time on him.

As I see it ...  Guys who have an attraction to other guys fall into a few classifications:
1.  Married to a woman-the largest group of unhappy gay guys around [but don't tell them they are gay].
2.  Partnered to a guy - further separated by...
-- with open relationship
-- without partners knowledge
3.  Married to a guy
4.  Single.
Furthermore, there are 'divorced' and 'separated from a woman' guys in every classification.

In my experience, those guys in classification 1 -- married to a woman and playing around -- are the flakiest.  They seem to abound, at least in the circles to which I belong.  That in itself may be part of the problem because I tend to belong to those areas that allow me to be anonymous and discreet, therefore, I am likely to find more of them there.  

TMI Thursday...

YOU HAIRY BEAST
Blogger buddy Sean from JustAJeepGuy and his TMI Thursday questions for the week.

1. Just how hairy are you? I don't know...is there a standard hair index?  I think I am not quite a bear, but definitely got some hair.  Do you desire more or less and where?  Hmmmmm...I would like one of those very defined treasure trails...so sexy.  And I love hair that looks short, but is all over the chest...but alas, mine is thicker and less defined.

2. Your friend post's a pic of you when you were 25, what year is it and what does your hair look like?  At 25, it would have been a lithograph...hair is darker but not as abundant....more on the head though.

3. What do you have to do and how long does it take you to make your hair look the way it does?  Holy shit, Sean...do you want ALL my secrets?   It takes hours of exercise, days of beauty sleep, and a hot guy to put that color in my cheeks (yeah, all the cheeks).

OK...seriously, about an half hour twice a week for the facial hair.  Haircut about once every 2 weeks...half hour if I have to wait.  If I'm in the mood, and my lover wants it, I trim the pubes and the chest using about a 5 setting on electric trimmers.

Nothing wrong with Alex O'Laughlin's chest either.

4. What was the most you ever paid for a haircut?  Cheapskate...maybe $20

5. Do you manscape?  I am not picky about what my hair looks like, so I trim, cut, manscape, or otherwise modify based on my current lover's preferences.



6. Men with beards are?  Hairy!!!  It totally depends on the guy and his face...for example, I always loved Brad Pitt shaved clean...he has the face for it, and is gorgeous.  But, I also like the look of these 20 and 30 somethings with the permanent five-O'clock shadows...so sexy. 

7. What hair on a man affects your libido most?  Chest...treasure trail.  But I also love really nice hairy legs.  And little tufts of hair on nice toes is nice too. 

For you ....

If only ...

The night engulfs us.  My bedroom is cool, the sheets feel so good, soft, and the comforter is nice and warm...light...filled with down, but warm and soothing.  I snuggle in, pull the comforter over my shoulder to warm myself, I sense you next to me.  I turn my back to you, and know that you will touch my hairy back, and gently rub to make me feel so good.  You will snuggle in to me, spooning, until I feel your hard prick touching my soft ass cheeks.  Your hand goes over me to caress my chest, and I feel the breath from you on my neck.  Your legs touch mine, as you rub your foot up and down my calf...slowly...tenderly.

We get very calm, almost serene, as we both drift in and out of a misty sleep, with an occasional movement to adjust to each other's bodies.  Then a calm relaxing sleep overtakes us both and we are two separate bodies, becoming one. 

I love you.

15 Traits of a Special Friend

1. Always has good advice, but only when you can handle it.
2. He never lets you go to bed upset or angry.
3. He always knows when you need to hear how great you are.
4. He sees you better than you see yourself.
5. He won't let you sweat the small stuff.
6. He also won't let you worry too much about the big stuff.
7. Knows when one well placed sentence can get you hard in a heartbeat.
8. He scrubs those 'hard to reach' places for you in the shower.
9. He walks your dog without being asked.
10. He makes your fetishes seem normal.
11. He makes you feel like you are the only important one in the room.
12. He leaves you alone when you really need to be alone.
13. He knows when you aren't feeling well before you do.
14. He cooks the best pasta dishes.
15. He just makes you feel good.

Ron - This is for You

The first time I met Ron, I was in a Holiday Inn in West Virginia.  We were both visiting, but had met from Craigslist or something.  "Mid-40s, discreet, 5-11, 175, enjoy NSA fun."  His hillbilly twang was cute...not abrasive as some were ... just a country boy who liked to play around a little bit.

It was rather obvious that he smoked, although his clothes didn't smell of it, and his body was well scrubbed.  But still, that tell-tale mouth odor of cigarettes gave him away.  And, even though I am not a smoker myself, the taste of kissing a smoker who has scrubbed and covered his smoke odor is a actually kind of cute.  I would never ask someone to smoke to satisfy my craving, but I won't stop him either. 

He was a great kisser.  For those of you who I have kissed, you know how I kiss, and what I like...he was it.

That first night, we kissed, stripped, sucked, and had a great time naked in bed with each other.  But, we didn't fuck.  I don't remember exactly how long we lasted, but I do know it was later than either of us could afford since we both had to work in the morning. 

A few weeks later, we were going to be close, and we took advantage of it.  This time, we both had more time.  I will admit that I was starting to fall for this guy.  He was so much fun being in bed with.  We planned a little better, had a little snack, some beers, and spent a lot more time talking than before.  But, the sex was still the star of the night.  He advertised as versatile, but he was a bottom. 

As most guys like us, we were very careful about telling our 'real' names, where we worked, lived, etc.  But it wasn't long at all before we knew most everything.  I remember when he told me where he worked.  [He had a high profile job at a national company and truly did have to be careful about anyone finding out about him.]  We were just talking about things in general and he blurted the name of his company out in general conversation, followed by a 'Shit, I just outed myself.'   It didn't matter by then, I was way past being concerned and he was also.  I gave him my driver's license to prove it didn't matter to me.

Like me, he had been married to a woman and finally realized that it was not what he wanted.  And, like me, he had a highly recognizable name in his local town.  The more we got to know each other, the more we realized that our paths had surely crossed before.  But when we met, we were two lost souls, seeking to find love in motel rooms.

I always thought that maybe, just maybe, we could make that step to a relationship where everyone knew, and no one cared; we could quit hiding from everyone, but I never really believed it. 

As our relationship grew, so did our lovemaking.  We had long before moved from having sex to making love.  Our bed in whatever room we were in at the time, was filled with love and caring.  But, I could never get him to spend the night.  We would spend time until the wee hours of the morning, and I would sometimes even doze off, but he would not spend the night.  He told me that he had little left to give the man he would commit himself to, so he would not sleep [literally, sleep] with anyone until he found that man.  My most vivid memory was of him on top of me, riding my dick, head thrown to the wind, shooting all over us both and then holding each other until it was time to leave.

As always seems to happen, our situations changed a bit...he was not traveling to the same areas-got reassigned, and I was not as mobile as I used to be, so we had less chance to see each other.  When we were able, it was still magical, but the opportunity was rarely there.  The last time I talked to him, I was going to be somewhere close to him, but it wasn't working out with his work.  He told me that he had to go to a nearby town for a Dr. visit.  He didn't act like it was a big deal, but something he had to take care of.  He would call.  I made him promise to let me know how it went.  But, I wasn't at all sure he would.  That was last spring.

I hadn't heard from him since then, but last night, I was thinking of him again.  On a whim, I googled his name and his town.  It was with shock that I found his obituary, read about his family, his father, all these things I already knew.  Then read about the service, the burial.  I didn't cry...he would not have wanted that.  But, I do so miss holding him close to me, one last time, kissing his neck, looking into his eyes, and tenderly kissing him.