I am changing...going through a metamorphosis. Maybe we all do. There was a time when I only wanted to 'get off'. I am not too far from that now, but I have found myself wanting to know more about him...whoever the current 'him' is...needing to know how he got here in this bedroom or hotel room with another guy. Has he done this numerous times before, is this something new, is he as 'seasoned' as he acts, or his first time, or somewhere in between?
What I really want to know about a guy is this: Are you open to sometime, if the stars align and I hold my tongue right, being in a dedicated relationship with another guy? How do you ask that without scaring the shit out of him?
I want to know because, if they fall into many classifications, I really don't want to waste much time on him.
As I see it ... Guys who have an attraction to other guys fall into a few classifications:
1. Married to a woman-the largest group of unhappy gay guys around [but don't tell them they are gay].
2. Partnered to a guy - further separated by...
-- with open relationship
-- without partners knowledge
3. Married to a guy
Furthermore, there are 'divorced' and 'separated from a woman' guys in every classification.
In my experience, those guys in classification 1 -- married to a woman and playing around -- are the flakiest. They seem to abound, at least in the circles to which I belong. That in itself may be part of the problem because I tend to belong to those areas that allow me to be anonymous and discreet, therefore, I am likely to find more of them there.