Back in the Saddle

It doesn't take long to get out of a funk.  Just need the right guy(s) to help with it.

Friday night was a real bust...had an evening without obligations, and surely I could find someone who wanted a little fun...but it was not to be.

Saturday...in a real funk...really just expected to read a little, GRINDR a little, and maybe hit the porn sites.  I just love it when I have no expectations of a hookup and I find one.  And, he turned out to be a really nice one...43 YO who was in town visiting some family, but at a hotel for the evening.  He invited me over, and, of course, I went.  No expectations...we did not even discuss sexual preferences.  I really just wanted some company.

We spent more than the typical time talking...family, hometowns, BFs, [or not], and even some sports [he wasn't much of a fan].
Our drinks were empty [I brought one with me] and it was time for a bathroom break as well.  After my time in the bathroom, I turned around and looked at him.  He looked like he really needed a kiss.  I was right...he did.

I spent the night.
We made each other very happy.
It was fun...although we didn't get much sleep [was it fun BECAUSE we didn't get much sleep?].

Exchanged phone numbers, and then even agreed to meet for coffee after showers, and on his way out of town.  For an hour or so, I thought he had bailed on me, but he finally called, and had just fallen asleep in the chair.  I am pretty sure we will see each other again.  He is a great guy.

Monday morning, a great guy from Tennessee was visiting [and yes, he even had orange underwear... a true VOL fan.]  His profile said TNcocksucker.  ...and he lived up to his profile.  ...a really great kisser, and a superb cocksucker.

Then, a regular guy...my favorite guy in the world...wanted to stop by.  He had grown a goatee and a beard...short...looked fantastic.  Another great kisser.  I sleep tonight a happy, sated man.

No, it wasn't Michael Weiss....but just as great looking.  

When it rains, it pours.

THINGS A GUY NEEDS TO KNOW TO GET ALONG IN THE GAY WORLD

1.  How to act interested without seeming desperate.
2.  How to learn GAYDAR.
3.  Learn that 'Sure, we should do that sometime' actually means 'No way, bro.'
4.  Understand that even though a guy is OUT, he has a problem other OUT guys knowing his first name.
5.  Don't take rejection personally.
6.  Understand that every interaction has a very slim chance of culminating in anything real.
7.  Realize that not every gay man is nice, and not every straight guy is an ass.
8.  Remember, when a married guy starts telling you how in love he is with you, he doesn't mean it.

I'm sure you guys can add more than this.  How about it?

Sean from http://justajeepguydc.blogspot.com/ has been doing TMI Thursday where he asks questions and asks his readers to answer them in comments, or here in their blog.  For this week....  

1. What is your plan for a good first date? 
Typically has included dinner of some sort...maybe a nice restaurant...not super fancy or expensive...just a nice local place that has really great food.  Then a nightcap...share a bottle of wine...in front of the fire in the winter...and spend the rest of the evening chatting, touching, getting comfortable.
2. Where do you go looking for dates, not hookups? Do you even date?  
I have had a little success getting dates from the hookup sights, but just a little.  Aside from that, I have no avenue for dating.  I do date some...not as much as I would like.
3. Sex on the first date?
Maybe.  But not necessary.  I do expect a kiss or two.
4. For those married or in a LTR, do you have Date Nights?
N/A
5. Have you ever been set up on a blind date? How'd it go?
I have refused.

Wanted: FRIENDS

Taking a break.
Yep...decided to back off a little.  Not from the sex, just from writing about it.  

I seem to have a lot of personal issues...issues with self esteem and self confidence.  Is that typical?  Do others suffer with similar bouts of depression?  

I have met some really great guys through blogs.  Some I like a lot, some I liked too much, but none whom I have met except my good friend from Richmond...name shall remain anonymous.  He has truly been an inspiration to me.  We have a lot of similar issues, but are in a different place with the family situation.

I really, really want to be OUT.  But, I am really scared to do it.  As difficult as things are now, I could not stand to lose any of those precious few straight friends that I have.  And, as much as I feel close to the gay/bi guys I have met through the blog, GRINDR, Adam4Adam, and others, I have no reason to believe they will be there to rescue me from the depths of depression when it occurs.  

I recently met a guy on GRINDR who lives close to me.  He is out, partnered, but still on GRINDR.  I am not exactly sure why, but I usually don't question what others' morality is...I have enough problems figuring out my own.  And, when I say we met, I mean we MET...we did not suck, fuck, kiss, or even shake hands.  We met to go for a run together.  He may have once thought there could be more to it, but if he did, he decided differently after we met.  
Anyway, we have done a few 'friend' things together...again...all with clothes on, and things we would not ever be arrested for anywhere.  At one point during a 'few-hour-long' car trip, I told him my whole story...marriage, divorce, bi, gay or whatever, after which he vehemently insisted my ex is a real bitch and should be shot.  My whole point is, that I think we got a little closer, emotionally, than before.  

I have realized through all of this, that what I really need are friends...true friends.  It felt really good to tell him about me, my side of the story.  But, after we parted, I realized that I had imposed on him a bit...had laid all of my problems on his lap expecting [or hoping] he could help with them.  Not fair to him.  That was a lot more than he signed up for.

Maybe what I need is a best friend who I can reveal all secrets to.  I also realized that thru 25+ years of marriage, I devoted virtually all of my time to my family...wife and kids...and none to me, and I was not a best friend to anyone.  I let all of my relationships erode.  And that makes me very sad.  

WANTED:  FRIENDS

Sean's TMI Thursday

Sean from http://justajeepguydc.blogspot.com/ has been doing TMI Thursday where he asks questions and asks his readers to answer them in comments, or here in their blog.  For this week.... 

No great adventures here...I really do lead a boring life.

1. Worst experience you ever had in a car? (not including accidents)
Non-sexual:  I was in FL with a high school/college friend who is a bit OCD, and is also very claustrophobic.  We were on the Atlantic side, and had been driving for quite a while, just checking out bars and the like.  I saw from the map [before GPS] that the shortest way back was through a tunnel under the inland waterway.  We were low on money and gas, and I thought --erroneously-- that I could be in and out of the tunnel before he really realized what was going on.  He damn near wrecked us when he saw the road dip into the tunnel under the water.
Sexual:  A very close call...had picked up a 20 YO and was parked near a state forest for a little sucking.  I saw a state trooper go past us...not sure if he saw us or not, but decided to go on and leave.  We got on the road, and just past the next turn, he passed us since he had turned around and was headed back to check out our parked car.  That was way too close for comfort.  

2. Driver or navigator?I have to do both!!! Type A, you know.

3. Planes, trains or automobiles?
Love them all...for obviously different reasons.

4. Best road trip?1980...Florida tour...with a straight bud...Not out, but still had a great time... he got his women, and I got my man...first visit to a gay bar... And he was none the wiser.

5. What's the farthest you've gone in a car? Sex, not distance.A car was the only private place we had for a long time.  But still only ever got to second...maybe third base with a girl or a guy.  
Bonus
What kind of car do you drive? What kind do you dream of?
Camry but I would look great in ....

2013 SL550 Roadster

Update on Nathan

So, Nathan....remember him?  The hot guy I had a beer with, but he wouldn't do much else until one day I hit on that he likes ass play.  No, he doesn't 'like' ass play, he LOVES ass play.

It had been two weeks since our last meeting [our first meeting with sex] and I was ready for it.  So I sent him a note this morning..."are you in town today?"  Yes was his response.  "Lets play doctor at 1.  OK?"
OK, he says.
With roughly two hours to get ready, I had to get the house cleaned up enough to host him, get ready myself, and find time to go out and get some lube that was missing.  As it turns out, he was delayed an hour, but I was still ready for him.

I met him at the door with my heavily starched shirt and nice red tie on, and the play began.  He was already hard when I had him take his pants off for the testicle, penis, and anal exams.  So we played Dr. and patient for a while, and all was good.

But the really nice part was time we spent with otherwise.  He's a great kisser, and an intelligent guy overall.  We talked about being out or not, boyfriends and lovers, our likes and dislikes, and even talked about how great it would be to sleep together, and wake up fucking in the middle of the night.  Damn, he had me there.  I absolutely love doing that.

I think it will work out OK with him.  Not a lifelong, permanent partner, but a really good friend, I hope.  Looking forward to more with him.

Kissing

 Kissing...is so underrated.  Something so sexy about it, I really can't describe.
As a young man, I didn't experience the joy of kissing another man.  It was so taboo, but today.... I love it.

My guy has to like it too, or we just can't be together.

Rough or tender, it all works.  And I have to mix it up.

Sometimes, it is just a light touch, barely grazing his lips.  A little tongue action, licking his lips or touching his tongue to mine.  Or I gently bite his lip.  Just kind of gnaw on it a little.

 Finally I move in for the full tongue action, fighting tongues, probing, searching.

 What do you do with your hands?  Mine are nearly always on his head, holding him to me.  Or around his neck, guiding his face to mine, and caressing him.

Often, my hands are on his chin or the side of his face, caressing, rubbing, and tenderly steering him to me.

How do you kiss your man?  The guy on the right is a great kisser!!!  My favorite.  

NEEDED...a guy's weekend.

I have never quite believed in supernatural powers, good luck charms, and the like, but I do think that we men have something going on that resembles a woman's menstrual period.  Not the physical part, maybe, but at least something happening that seems to affect our mood.  At least, that is the way I seem to be.  Sometimes, I can blame it on the full moon, or maybe it's something else.


I mention this because I have been having some really unusual things happen.  For the last month or so, I have had no trouble finding a dick to suck or an ass to pound.  In fact, it was almost too much a few times, and I actually had to prioritize what I wanted to do.  In the last few days though, nothing seemed to go right.  I had two guys, different times, lined up for yesterday, and they both stood me up.  I have had guys back out at the last minute, but no one has been that rude before.

Over the weekend, my regular Sunday guy backed out.  We had conflicts and couldn't get together.  Then on Monday, there was gonna be a foursome that got aborted...3 of the 4 couldn't make it for one reason or another.  I know all of them, and I am sure it was gonna be a great time for all.  Plus, I wanted to have another round with a Construction Worker guy I met a few months back.  He is a really hot bottom.

Of course on Tuesday, I did have a really nice fuck with one of my regulars...Flip.  He was out of town on a business trip, and I arranged to join him for an overnight.  He rode me like he has never done before, and shot a giant load all over my chest doing it.

Still, I have just been feeling like things aren't quite right.  Had the doldrums myself, and probably making other people miserable too.

On Friday, two of my best straight buds and I are going for a guy's weekend.  Kind of reminds me of Loki's weekend he wrote about a few weeks back, but not nearly as organized.  But we will have a good time...some nice drinks, boating and/or jet skis on a lake, good food, and a lot of story telling and good times.  I am really looking forward to it.

And who knows, maybe this full moon we have right now DOES have something to do with it.

Sean's TMI Thursday

Sean from http://justajeepguydc.blogspot.com/ has been doing TMI Thursday where he asks questions and asks his readers to answer them in comments, or here in their blog.  For this week....


1. How would you like to die? How don't you want to die?
Wow...these questions got really heavy.  And difficult.  I am not completely sure about this, but I know that I don't want to die of Alzheimer's.  But, I also don't want to die of a liver disease, or any disease that allows you to linger in pain for days, weeks, or even months.  
We obviously have little control over this anyway, so I guess I will leave it to fate. 
But, if I am to die at a time in my life when my organs will still be of use to someone else, then I hope to go in a way that allows it. 
2. Do you want to go before or after your spouse?

At this point, I want her to go first so that I can dance on her grave.

3. Have you planned your wake or funeral? 

No.  I don't really expect to.  I think that is for the living, and they should plan it based on what they feel comfortable with at the time.  If I know far enough ahead, I will discuss some suggestions with my kids, but it will be their show.

4. How do you want your body laid to rest?

Sprinkle the ashes over my mom and dad's graves.  The two people who always loved me, no matter what I did.

5. What do you think happens to you after you die?

I guess I'm an agnostic. 

Bonus
If you died today but could be frozen and brought back in 100 years, would you?

Yes, without hesitation.  I am intrigued by the future, and have always wanted to know about everything...I guess you can say I am nosy.