Thursday, February 7, 2013

A Moral Dilemma

I consider myself a person with morals.  To many, that will seem strange...after all, I fuck guys who want fucked, and is it turns out, some are married; I spank guys who really like it, and I'm pretty sure most of them have a significant other who has no idea; and I am not honest with my family and most friends about my sexuality.  For the record, I also look at a lot of porn, and I use the internet to help me win at Words with Friends.  To many, for me to claim to be a moral person is so very wrong.

Sorry, folks, but most of that is out of my control.  I can't change my sexuality, didn't have a say in what it was going to be.  I don't feel at all guilty [any more] about any sexual encounters with a least not because he's a guy.

I have to deal with the rest.  Having been the victim myself...loving someone who didn't treat a promise with the same commitment as me...I am very sensitive to fucking around with guys in a relationship.  I think I justify it because their wives are evil people, at least that's what they usually say.  But, the reality for me is that is only works for a while...then I get all righteous on them, and don't want to play because of it.  SEE!!!  I do have a conscience.  It just takes a break at the right [wrong?] time.


  1. The way I look at it is that sex is sex and love is love! Like you said, we don't chose to be gay. And in this culture, we have had to hide it. From ourselves usually. It isn't easy for most of us to accept the reality. In my case it took decades. Am I happier now, yes. Would I do it again? Yes. I'm glad things are changing so that men can accept themselves without the pain it causes those of us with some age on us. But as for morality, how immoral is it that society forces us into this. And morals are really more a set of beliefs that are agreed to by society. So, they certainly aren't universal. Like you, I consider myself a moral person. I'm honest with everyone I ever go out with. I'm not going to practice monogamy anytime soon. If that isn't liked, well, then don't go out with me.

    1. Thanks, skier. Just read a few postings on your blog. Where have you been all my life?

      I probably didn't make the point, but I think morality is centered around honesty and commitment. Somehow, my dad taught me that a man is only as good as his word. Although he and I never had that 'gay' conversation [or even that 'birds and bees' conversation], I know he would understand. He died in 1992.

  2. So what's the dilemma?

    Accepting one's sexual orientation in not about morals it is about misinformation, assumptions and education. LGBTQ people have to overcome programing not readjust their morals.

    Sex outside of marriage - if you can't get married then what choice do you have? Monogamy is a social construct whose purpose was to preserve bloodlines and prevent inbreeding. Is it better, sure for many physical and emotional reasons but like most things, if no one is getting hurt then is it really the same sin?

    Sex with people in committed/legal relationships. Not the best way to go for yourself but you're not the one committing the 'sin' and that person will find someone else anyway. What you can do is help them be safe and to move along their chosen path.

    Not telling everyone about your sexuality? A character in a movie, I wish I could remember, said it took him 30 years to finally accept that he was gay, he can give him mother 7. Coming out to people is best when you are ready not when you know. You need time so that when you do tell people, you are able to help them understand and accept. You can't do this until you are comfortable and safe. You also need the resources, emotional (inner strength/external support) and financial, to protect yourself from rejection.

    Some might say this is rationalization. What's so wrong with rationalization?